Besides being colleagues, Gé & I are getting married next February. We're getting married mainly because we think it would be fantastic to throw a really lovely party for a weekend together with our family and friends. But getting married also settles a lot of practical matters. We've already put everything down on paper, because we've bought a house together and we work together. Not romantic, far from it, but very important. In fact, these aren't the most fun conversations.
Contents
- Your CDs, my CDs
- Cohabitation agreement
- Marriage and registered partnership
- Limited community of property or a prenuptial agreement
- Tricky, we'll see
- Advice
Your CDs, my CDs
In a purchase consultation I nearly always ask people whether they're already married, or have a cohabitation agreement or a registered partnership. People often look at me a bit blankly. At first they often don't really know why I'm asking this question. But when you buy a home it's enormously important to record the ownership and how it's divided properly. Right now you're madly in love, you want nothing more than to buy a house together and you're sure you'll never split up. But suppose, just suppose, that it does happen after all? Just maybe? Then you usually don't find each other quite so sweet any more. So it's important to get everything properly on record while you still wish each other the world. One of you could also die. What then? It's really important to get good advice.
Cohabitation agreement
In a cohabitation agreement you essentially agree together on everything to do with being together and living together. How much rent or mortgage does each of you pay, and which possessions belong to whom?
What you agree on together in a cohabitation agreement:
- how the costs of groceries, clothing and housing are shared;
- the bank account(s);
- the costs of caring for and raising any children;
- how the possessions are divided if you split up;
- a survivorship clause (verblijvingsbeding): if your partner dies, you may keep the joint possessions.
You can put these agreements on paper together, but it's quite a complicated document. We always advise discussing everything with a good notary. You can get a bit selfish when it comes to financial arrangements. You don't want things to be unfair. And the choices you make also come with tax snags.
Marriage and registered partnership
You can of course also choose to get married or enter into a registered partnership. The big difference between a registered partnership and marriage is the big ‘I do’. With marriage and registered partnership you automatically have rights and obligations towards each other.
- Use of each other's surname As spouses or registered partners you may use each other's surname. You can have this name registered with the municipality in the BRP (the Personal Records Database). If you're married or have a registered partnership, you may use your partner's surname.
- No obligation to testify in court You don't have to testify against your spouse or registered partner. This is called the right of non-disclosure. This also applies to each other's family members.
- Performing legal acts For certain legal acts or decisions you need each other's consent. For example, for selling the marital home.
- Duty of maintenance You have to take care of each other. You're obliged to provide for each other's living costs.
- Inheritance Married and registered partners are each other's legal heirs. This can still be changed in a will.
- Pension The old-age pension is arranged during the marriage or registered partnership. You often also build up a survivor's pension.
Limited community of property or a prenuptial agreement
Do you choose to share your assets, or do you want to make agreements about this together? Of course you're marrying the love of your life. You'll never divorce and you want to share everything. But you never know how life will turn out. Previously, with community of property, all debts from before the marriage also became your partner's debts straight away. The same went for assets. Now, everything you already had before your marriage is automatically yours. Do you have your own business, unequal contributions of assets, or do you simply want to agree everything properly? Then you need to make arrangements about this at the notary.
Tricky, we'll see
These aren't the most fun conversations. It's difficult, it costs money and it forces you to think very carefully about your relationship, your finances and your future. You don't want to short-change yourself, but you don't want to short-change the other person either. You see a tear and think, OK, let's park this subject and do it later. But what happens if you don't do it and one of you dies? In most cases the other person then can't stay living in the house. Is that what you want? No, so discuss this properly together and weigh up all the consequences together.
Advice
There's quite a lot to think about. We advise you to get good advice. Both from a financial adviser and from a good notary. Saving on these costs can end up costing you an enormous amount of money. There are tax consequences as well as personal ones. Would you like tips on good advisers? We're happy to help. But don't forget to enjoy the special moment when you truly choose to go through life together. Make it a really festive moment! Gusto Casa or Gusto Cava will be happy to help.
